He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
