Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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