Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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