when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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