i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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