Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
