i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
