dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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