Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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