Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
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I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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