it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
