i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
