i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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