Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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