Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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