tell your sister to shave her snatch
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
