so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
