we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
