I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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