margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
