Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
