the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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