i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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