when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
