Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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