haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You made out with two different species that night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
