There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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