so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
3pm strippers are depressing
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
