Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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