your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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