i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.