I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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