belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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