Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
