got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
