I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
