just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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