thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
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You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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