Nicole vs. Life
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
