One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize