it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
