My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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