Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
