I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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