A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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