Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize