also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize