i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
