I hope mine doesn't look like that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
