She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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