420 ftw
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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