its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
