Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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