Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
