Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
