What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
