My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
