ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
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but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize