According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
COCAINE IS GR8
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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