We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize