i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize