you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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